Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in Fuzz's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
11:44 am	i wish i had tits!!!! soo um my car broke down soo i lost my job because of it. but the funny thing is ms.housemate got a raise. WTFF!? this is the 2nd time i've goten fired from this p.o.s. job and anna rather than get fired gets a raise, shes prolly fucking the boss or something. keep in mind ive been fired twice for missing work, ms.housemate misses just as much work as me because we use the same car. oh well i guess im destin to get shit on forever. but on the upside i guess it means i have more time to play w/ms.assistant. but now i don't have any money to need assistance in spending, or for chicken dammit!!!!! somebody give me a job, or some sanity. all i want for christmas is hari-kari (acient suicide by disembowling yourself with a sword) Current Mood: so fucking confused (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 29th, 2004
6:37 am	assisting assitance assitants so the other day i went shopping for my dads birthday present, cuz im the koolest kid ever... but even the koolest kid ever needs help picking things out.. so i brought an assistant. since names arent important we will just say it was a girl and she will now be reffered to as ms.assistant, and since she was purely there to offer her female opinion and things of that nature it shouldnt matter WHO the assistant is should it? who cares if she pees in a bucket? thats the kind of input im looking for! she is also probably the only person reading this any ways... focus! im straying from the point.. well anyways ms.housemate and i were having a lovley conversation yesterday and me being the moron that i am i ACCIDENTLY mention something about ms.assistant and ms.housemate flips and swears now that at some point in history me and ms.assistant had an affair while me and ms.housemate were mr. and mrs.housemate. in short ms.housemate is claiming that at one time or another ms.assistant was my mistress... i do not recall these events ever taking place, so i tried to tell her that the idea was obsurd but there was no swaying her decision. then she basically told me im not allowed to play with ms.assistant anymore... dammit! although there wasnt much assisting and i picked the gift out all by myself cuz im a big boy, there was, on the other hand chicken! bourbon chicken and it was delicious and i want more chicken soo this totally isnt fair at all!!! oh well ill figure something out... thinking is hard... i need assistance... Current Mood: shocked Current Music: its 7 am! its quiet time! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 26th, 2004
7:15 am	i love orange marijuana... in my bowl... in my lungs... in my brain... in my eyes... god im sleepy... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
7:15 am	hrmmmmm (Comment on this)
6:40 am	today sux its like 6 am wtf!? today i should have plenty of friends, its payday! ima gonna bea sooo stondededed!!! awesome!!!!! im a loser... i have no point... what is the meaning of all this? i found a picture of me the other day from when i was 15, tessas right i do look like a little girl.... thats kinda kreepy considering more girls talked to me then than they do now. this leads me to believe that girly boys must not be that threatening... or most girls are secretly and possibly unwillingly gay. there were more recent photos that id love to share but we all know how well i work with that whole pic thing, cough cough see example "A" my profile pic. lol gay. ive also come to another startling realization... everything smells like cocaine today. ::sniff sniff:: see even my pants smell like mr.montana. maybe i should feed the monster. nah i dont feel like being broke today. killing time is hard this is gay.... like girls... gay gay gay. lets try this the politically correct way HOMOSEXUAL TENDENCIES... (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
12:57 pm	latley ive been thinking alot about what could have been, and i gotta tell you ive went about this whole life thing completley wrong. as i often do when i write in here ive spent most of my day hating the way the things are working out, or not working out for that matter. seems like i can never hold my shit together long enough to get out of here... i shoulda stayed on that train... the thing thats been killing me latley has to do with girls, kuz youre all evil all of you!!! i found out the other day that while i was in jail anna fucked some other guy, now the signifigance of this is only completely realized upon review of the 30 some odd pages of "i love you" and "i miss you" and other obsurdly exagerated tales of faithfulness and friendship. it wouldnt be so bad but she lives here and at least once a day i find myself being reminded of how foolish i really am... it nauseates me to think about it. id give this girl the world if i could, and all that petty little shit that ive never thought i could say, i said, and the cherry on this shit sundae is that i meant it. every fucking word of it.... i think im gonna be sick... im not so disgusted at the action as the lies. i was soo disillusioned. but now that i know the truth and intentions what do i do? do i stay and hope that maybe just maybe we were on a different page at the time? haha fat chance that happened. or do i walk away from the girl id die for? this is killing me slowly inside, maybe i should give up and let kill me.... like some of my friends... R.I.P. Jay Tate, i miss you Current Mood: suffocated Current Music: winter overture/REQUIEM (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 14th, 2004
8:56 am	this is gay im never writing in here again... its stupid and gay and all sorts of other derogatory things!! arg!!!!!!!! have fun on house arrest tessa... its really not that bad... besides your dads a lawyer you should be able to apply for half time and get it, un like me they hate me i had to serve the whole thing, but oh well all i did the whole time was... DRUGS!!! piss tests are easy to pass.. vale hahahahaha im losing my fuckkkkking minnddd!!!! Current Mood: crappy Current Music: my niece running around like shes crazy (Comment on this)
8:44 am	shitfuck drugs are bad... but soo cute Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: brand new (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
5:44 am	yeah girls are stupid i hate them all, if your a girl and your reading this.... I HATE YOU TOO! anna freaked out on me yesterday cuz she was drunk, she thought it would be a great idea to have a screaming match... so she ended up storming out, i had to go get her in my car, then she tried to get out twice and walk home but i wouldnt let her because im too big of an asshole. and i practically had to burst a vein yelling to get her back in the car, i wasnt being mean i was just letting her know how irrational she was being. and it all started because she was talking to the pillow on my couch whom she thought was an elderly brunette woman, possibly my aunt? she asked it who it was, and with no reply came and woke me up to ask me if it was okay to continue wandering around my house naked with my relatives over, and sure enough she was naked... soo i was like "theres someone here?" she was like "yeah i dont know who it is tho... i think its your aunt..." soo after getting really confused i kept telling her that she wasnt making any sense, and quite frankly being very wierded out that someone else was in my house without me knowing... especially my "aunt" i stood up to see who it was. upon finding the pillow and nothing else on the couch, i only became more confused. so anna freaks and starts getting dressed, tossing things and looking for things, all the while im in the background asking what kind of drugs shes on, she storms out of the room, saying something about how i never want to look at her, or touch her. ????wtf??? she returns sevral minutes later to tell me that she had cleaned up my livingroom, and she thought i had better take a look at the bathroom to make sure it was tidey enough for my mother... mind you i still have no idea whats happening. after many many times of her leaving the room and me asking her to explain just a little bit of what was going on, she finally ran out the front door for me to chase her down... even still i have no idea what happened.there was more but it made much less sense than any of this. i dont get it earlier in the day we had soo much fun, we went bowling drunk cuz we watched kingpin and thought it was a good idea, so $20 later we were satisfied.we were both having a blast, there was some highschool bowling team there, soo we kept making out and swearing really loud and smoking cigarettes there was laughing and fun everywhere, and then inavoidable craziness of being a girl just had to break free and talk to my couch... she was very dead serious too it wasnt like a misinturpurated joke or something shes just genuinly insane... what will i ever do with that girl? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 7th, 2004
7:37 am	EUTHANIZE ME (life destroyed half this body Figure head To end life Have i Survived? Breath cant ! can feel the knife Widen on this grip Confession of a fallen king Ill do almost anything Not to be alive today) If i could end this way of greed Its came through a scream And feel like i have won some way Wade thru this dark decay Welcome an early grave And put my heart away To start another game Its getting old With nowhere to go (hollow hate To not to breath Sink inisde To my displease Pain indide Desides my fate Delerium behind my painted face) All alone More than you'll know-XII fuck... i wish i was dead...im soo fukin tired... of everything about my life. my arms are wide open to the acceptence of defeat "i quir, you win, i give" theres nowhere left to go, nothing left thats worth proving, and no one left to miss me. it sounds soo stupid .. "look at me, love me, miss me," but its nothing like that at all, im not asking for it, im just totally accepting that it will never happen, as for people looking at me i wish theyd stop, theres soo much pressure on the next move i make, fuck that on EVERY move i make. where to go, who to follow, what to do? which side to take? its no longer whats best for me, its whats best for everyone benifiting from me, how i can keep thier smiles on, and pockets full at whatever cost necesarry to me. i kant even come home after twelve hours of hell a night to a home w/no carpet or girlfriend, and beat off cuz my hands hurt to bad to makes fists, and even if i could get my hand around my dick without going into shock, it would feel fucking a piece of sandpaper because my hands are so caliced, blistered, cut, and bruisd!!!!!!!! fuck this im going to bed, im too stoned (my job just wasnt eauphoric enough i started smoking again) Current Mood: dirty Current Music: Mushroomhead (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 16th, 2003
11:54 pm	just for tessa im only writing in this stupid thing cuz tessa told me i should. and i forgot i had it. :::update::: im a pathetic loser... a bum ... a criminal... an alcoholic... a child molester... a drug abuser... and ultimatley a fukking waste of a good life. but oh well who cares... and if u do care, fuck off, you're not me. i should be the only one concerned with where im headed, so everybody who THINKS they know whats best for me should listen to your own advise, then maybe your life wouldnt suck soo bad that they have to try to live through me.not to mention i have become the thing i hate most... unemployed.. the only thing that i really loved in my worthless life is gone as well as my car and my home has become a bookbag with a canopener and some dirty clothes that i use for a pillow. im so far from home, im lost without suburbia. i wont bother goining into the situation of my friends but as with all good things their falling apart. i have so much more to say but im going to stop and leave with a big FUCK YOU. FUCK ME. FUCK LIFE. FUCK EVERYTHING. "all the things that i was raised to believe were set in stone were ALL LIES"... p.s.i hate little girls Current Mood: drained (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 7th, 2002
11:36 pm	lalala FUCK FUCK FUCK nobody reads this. not even me. my e-mail account broke today... so to all the people who dont read this i kant get email. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 6th, 2002
2:42 am	a few more words i know i just put in an entry like 5 min ago but i kant help it i feel sooo happy im like a little kid right now sooo goddam giddy for no goddamm reason.... lol i wish i could undo alot of the stuff i did but if it all kame down to it i probably wouldnt change any of it! hahahahahahahaha i think im only soo happy cuz im goin crazy! but its fun hahaha (Comment on this)
2:02 am	oh boy im back once again i was gonna come on here all pissed off and whine like a little girl about how bad my life is and all that pity pity nonsense but im not cuz i feel really good right now, it just krept up on me... and all that fucked up shit thats happened in the last week doesnt seem so bad anymore...im still alone and all that crap but ... im feeling way too good right now to go and whine like a little girl... ive done that enough latley and it got me nowhere so im done with it. i was gonna tell someone i was sorry, but i already did that once and she knows who she is. and besides now that i think about it i have nothing to be sorry for except opening my mouth... oh and taking a stand instead of watching my chances fly by. but that doesnt metter anymore, and neither does any of that candy coated pile of horse shit ppl have been trying to feed me, im a big boy now i can handle the truth. if ppl dont wanna tell it then thats thier problem not mine. although saying what u really feel has only gotten me shit on more id rather be truthful than lead ppl on. and if thats not good ol fashioned decency i dont know what is... soo later all and have fun. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 26th, 2001
1:57 am	FUCK! Current Mood: discontent (Comment on this)
1:37 am	this is not my life this is not my hope this is not me i hate this this is not my life this is not my hope this is not me i hate this (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 9th, 2001
12:32 am	im sorry..? " and you bring me to my knees... all the times that ive felt insecure and i leave my burdons at the door im on the outside im lookin in i kan see through u see your true kolors cuz inside your ugly your ugly like me i kan see through you see to the real you.." -Staind staind is a very badass band "all this time that ive felt like this wont end was 4 you and i taste what i could never have its from you all those times that i tried my intentions full of pride and i waste more time than anyone im on the outside im lookin in..." ill be goddammed look me with a journal. something i thought i would never have. i feel like shit, Lizz.. Im Sorry... im soo ugly on the inside it would blind u to see my hate. my pain would rip the wings from your back. my confussion would bring u to your knees. i hate myself. i am the bearer of pain. i bring no pleasent gifts. i dont wish to be this way. so all i kan say is that i pray that it goes differently this time. "you kant feel my anger you kant feel my pain you kant feel my tourment drivin me insane i kant fight these feelings they bring only pain."-staind "if u do not know where your going than any road will get you there"- the cheshire kat alice in wonderland very good advice to live by spoken from a kat that kan pull his head off and stand on it. "kan u stand on your head"-the cheshire Current Mood: cold Current Music: outside by staind.. damn family values crap (Comment on this)